see! canvas!


jason drew it!nice!?!?!






guy at work.

miss R painted it. but mingliang spoilt it in the end AHAHA.


YAY! I STARTED ON MY CANVAS! so happy. k not exactly, cos that means, i'm going to die. as here will be painting. sighhh.

k and anyway, i'm sorry to the person who i disappointed. somehow i feel, whatever i do, it'll always me who is doing the wrong thing. I'M SORRY OK? i know this don't mean much to you, but i'm saying sorry from my heart. i care, but i don't know why, the way of how i care is changing already it's just LIKE THAT LA?

whoever's thinking of changing me, i know MANY people is trying to. please, just leave me alone for the time being. don't think that i don't want to change. i tried before. but i just can't ok? don't say i didn't try, i did. images just keep appearing in my head. how i know i'll be like that? it's been a long time ok. so just wait for good news or just stick with this news ok. i'm sorry if i disappoint you.

BYE. next up, a bad photographer. and anw, my internet sucks now. always disconnecting. MCNUGGETS!!!

as quoted by mjt.

pure love is.
loving the person and when shes happy, you're happy.
you love the person you don't have to own her but to see that she is happy and living a happy life
that she is growing to be good and that you won't be jealous, upset or emo when she loves someone else.

thanks for directing that to me.

maybe i should just back off. yup, that's what i'm gonna do.

Coversation with myself. don't bother people, in case it gets too scary.

peishi, you don't have to know everything. you don't have the right to.

yup ok i know. i know what to do already. maybe it'll be just the way it is, like that?

you just can't help it you know? you don't have to please everyone. you just be who you are.

yeah i know, i already tried. don't have to brood over this matter.

but it's not a small matter, it's like you have to care, but you don't know how.

why the hell should you care? like what people say, they are taking advantage of you.

... i have to care for this girl ok. i'm not there whenever she needs me. it's feels kind of weird though. even though i told her already, but it just feels like a responsibilty.

you being like a FUCKING NANNY.

whatever, shut up. it's just, i have to care. but i don't know how.

you're freaking wasting your time and brain space for this matter.

i don't think so. any matter in my head is an important matter, regardless whether it's big or small.

YEAH OKOK I LOSE!! I GIVE UP. ahah

yay. i win! you lose. :P

oh wait, one more thing, your vulgarities are influencing people

oh really? ok i'll change then :D thanks.

you're welcome.

END OF CONVERSATION

people, please do not mind that conversation. it's somehow like the good and bad in my head talking to each other. yup.

yeah people people, I'M IN LOVE WITH THIS NEW GIRL. her name is CARMEN :D please, don't be jealous. kidding.

oh ya. AND HELLO WINNIE!!!!! YOUR NAME IS HERE!!! AND IN CASE THE NOT ELAINE GETS JEALOUS. HELLO NOT ELAINE, YOUR NAME IS HERE TOO!!! :D

1) if your lover betray you, wad will your first reaction be?
I'll be upset. DUH?!

2) if you can have a dream to come true, what will it be?
I want N to be happy. seriously.

3) wad will your dream wedding be like?
Sharmen kind.

4) are you confuse as to wad lies ahead of you?
I guess so.

5) wad's your ideal lover like?
Lets see, ask me yourself.

6) which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?t
This question is familar. OH, enqi told me about it before. somehow, ask me yourself again.

7) how long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Lol. This question is, not forever of course. wait till i actually tell the person that i like her.

8) if the person you secretly like is attached, wad would you do?
While, she is now. I'll still be watching and seeing whether her other half does anything mean to her, which he already did. mcnuggets.

9) is there anything that made you unhappy these days?
Yes.

10) are you in love or being loved now?
In love. Being loved? maybe in a few hundred years.

11) how do you see yourself in ten years' time?
Like that?

12) who are currently the most important person to you?
Only one uh? N lor.

13) wad kind of person do you think the person had tagged you is?
Mad.

14) would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Depends. SINGLE AND RICH! because i can, ask me yourself.

15) wad is the first thing you do every morning?
Open wo de eyes.

16) would you give all in a relationship?
Depends on who the other half is.

17) if you fall in love with 2 ppl simuntaneously, who would you pick?
I'll choose the one who i can _ first! ask me yourself again :D HAHAHA.

18) wad type of friends do you like?
All kinds.

19) what would you like to do with your boy?
I don't have a boy and never will have one.

20) wad would you name your children in the future?
Tom, Dick or Harry.

THE FIRST PERSON WHO'S GONNA ASK ME STUFF OR COMMENT WIL BE ELAINE TANN!! HAHA :D

look. what the fuck is wrong with you? you're going "i miss her" and everything. and when i talk to you. you make it seem like if i weren't there, it'll be fine too. it's like. i tried talking to you but you just ya wth, COME ON REFLECT ON WHAT YOU DO? you think it will have no effect on yourself. but think, the person you're talking to is NOT a robot but has feelings. omg. don't you think by saying all those SHIT will make me feel good? you always don't want to let me understand you. fine but when i want to understand you better, you won't let me. WHAT IS THIS? seriously, things are so obvious and i know it myself. it's like something that can be seen but you just won't admit it. TELL ME WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? YOU WANT ME TO DIE IN FRONT OF YOU? think man think. i'm already TRYING MY FREAKING BEST TO TRY TO COMMUNICATE AND MAKE THINGS BETTER. and there you are, .. I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE DOING THAT? trust me, i don't feel good about it ok. you're DEMORALISING MY MOOD. when i change the fucking atmosphere, you just i don't know what's it you're doing. someone who already tries their best to do something but only shit returns. it SUCKS OK. i'm not writing this on purpose. but i just can't find anymore things to pour out everything in my heart. i've already tried. seriously. i gave in all that i can give in. like i always do. what more do you want me to do? work for you as a full-time depressed person for you to say all disappointing things to!? damn it man.
whatever it is, whenever you need me, come look for me. i know it'll be hard. but i don't know? maybe you can have those new people in your life to talk to. they may be better people to talk to. i don't know. ya ok.

PEOPLE, THIS IS WRITTEN OUT OF FRUSTRATION. so ya understand please.

1Who in this world have you loved like you’ve never loved before?
That girl in my mind.

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
Duh.

3. What happened at 10.00am today?
Freaking math in pe office.

4. When did you last cry?
Just 2 days ago.

5. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
Bread?

6. What do you want in your life right now?
Are you asking the obvious? But it’s impossible.

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
None, I just run.

8. What's your favorite thing to have on your bed?
My freaking pillow.

9. What bottom are you wearing now?
Come see for yourself.

10. Whats the nicest text in your inbox say?
I don’t have an inbox now :( But it's the many "love ya" by _ _ _ _ _ _ i think.

11. Do you tends to make a relationships complicated?
Well, honestly, I haven’t been into one.

12. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
No.

13. What was the last movie you caught?
The Hottie and the Nottie.

14. What are you proud of?
I’m proud to be a Le_ _ _ _ _

15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say?
It would be from Celine. But I can’t remember what. Cos I don’t have a phone. Dang.

16. What was the last song you sang out loud?
Let’s see. BEAUTIFUL GIRLS IN CHINESE AND ENGLISH.

17. Do you have any nicknames? What are they?
Have. Go ask around, I’m not telling you. Lim Shu Juan is a perfect person to ask from.

18. What does your last received text message say? Who was it from?
Eh. I think it’s from Enqi. It said something like, since you don’t care and blah blah. Yup.

19. What time did you go to bed last night?
I don’t remember sleeping.

20. Are you currently happy?
Somehow yes and somehow, no.

21. Who gives you best advice?
Elaine Tan & Nur Syazwani & Lim Shu Juan & A LOT OF PEOPLE.

22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
Yeah, it’s good!

23. Who did you talk on phone last night?
Hmm, no one. I think.

24. Is anything bugging you right now?
Yes, obviously.

25. What/Who was the last thing/person to make you laugh?
Hmm, the tv show.

26. Do you wear toe socks?
Nope, it’s weird.

27. Who was the last person you missed a call from?
I don’t know. No phone, what to do?

28. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes. Of course. My heart breaks for every little single small thing. Dumb right?

29. What annoys you most in a person?
Stubborn-ness.

30. Do you have a crush on anyone?
Yes.

31. Have you ever done cocaine?
No.

32. What is the colour of your room?
White and Purple. It’s unfinished.

33. Would you kill someone you hate for a billion dollar?
No, money can’t bring happiness.

34. Why do you love the person you love?
That’s a question I cannot never answer and have been asking myself.

35. Who was the last person to lay in your bed?
Me?

36. Who was the last person to hug you?
Eh, I was about to hug ruiqi. But it’s not right. So I didn’t. the last person was. I can’t remember.

37. What do you want to say to the person you have a crush on?
Tell her I like her la DUH? Or tell her. bu yao zou, wo xi huan ni.

38. Do you have a life?
What am I having now?

39. Have you ever think someone died, when they really didn't?
Yes.

40. What do you regret most?
The time when I could tell her but I didn’t and now she’s gone.

41. Who was the last person you saw in your dream?
Miss N.

42. Last time you smiled?
For real or fake? Real, last day of d&d camp.

43. Have you changed this year?
Yes, a lot.

44. What are you listening to right now?
The keyboard typing sound?

45. Are you talking to someone when you doing this?
Cheryl Ho and Elaine Tan.

46. Do you walk with your eyes open or closed?
Open.

47. Is there a quote you live by?
Eh. Many. Keep waiting is one of them.

48.Do you want someone you can't have?
Mm Hmm.

49. Have you ever played an instrument?
Yup.

50. What was the worst idea you've had in week?
To, I can’t remember.

51. What were you doing last night at 11.00pm?
Using the computer.

52. Are you happy with your love life right now?
I don’t have one.

53. What song describe your love life?
Wei Ni Xie Shi, Many.

54. Does the person know that you like him/her?
I think so? Does she?

55. Who always make you laughs?
Many people.

56. Do you speak other language other than English?
Chinese, my own language.

57. What are you planning to do to win your crush’s heart?
I’ll just keep waiting and try to help her whenever she needs me. I doubt she’ll need me anyway.

58. What your middle name?
Pei?

59. What are you doing tomorrow?
Settle some stuff, think again and study with Elaine Tan.

60. What do you think you are like?
I don’t really judge myself.

61. Who will you choose to die with?
My loved ones.

62.Where have you been today?
School, Home, Bukit Batok.

63. What game do you play often?
Gold Miner, the Burger Game.

64. Who are you missing right now?
My Miss N.

65. If you've to choose between friend & love, who will you choose?
Suprisingly, both.

66. What are you doing right now?
Having an aching stomach and thinking.

67. Which primary school are you from?
PEI HWA PRESBYTERIAN PRIMARY SCHOOL!

68. Which CCA are you in?
THE SAINT JOHN AMBULANCE BRIGADE!

69. What emotion you like to show?
All kinds.

70. What is life to you?
Pressurising and a lot more.

71. If you have something troubling you, what will you do?
Just let it stay there and not let it out until I cannot take it anymore.

72. Who did you last chat in msn today?
Elaine Tan, Cheryl Ho, Nur Syazwani, FOO Lilin, Rowena.

73. What do you admire the most?
The Sun who sees her everyday.

74. Which month are you born in?
August

75. How are you feeling right now?
Pain.

76. What is the time now?
0025

77. What will you do if your crush ask you to give her a kiss?
I think I’ll give her one, but in the end, I won’t.

78. When was the last time you saw your crush?
Today.

79. What was the last MAJOR thing you did for your crush?
Send her home.

80. What do you do when you're moody?
Just stone there?

81. What was the most EXTREME punishment you were given and the cause of it was your crush?
I got kicked out of my home.

82. Do you feel guilty?
Always.

83. Who do you complain to?
My complaint box! Miss Lim Shu Juan!

84. Who is the person you trust the most?
Lim Shu Juan, Elaine Tan, ALL MY FRIENDS. REALLY.

85. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after a rain?
Yes.

86. If you can have a dream come true, what would it be?
I would want to be with her and be accepted by everyone for who I am.

87. Who is your crush?
This is LAME. Whoever knows me well enough will know.

88. What was the last thing you got accused about?
Lying.

89. Are you receiving advice now?
Yes, by my very own junior and my friends.

90. Are you Straight, Bisexual or Homosexual?
I think the previous answers answered your question already.

91. What feeling you hate the most?
being accused, alone, ignored, SPARETYRE and a lot more.

92. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
Yes, that’s why I haven’t said anything yet.

93. What kind of people will you get irritated to?
People who keep asking and asking.

94. Who cares for you the most?
My family and since the last day of d&d camp, many more people. My friends and dear MISS N.

95. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
My family and Miss N.

96. What'll you bring when you fight?
Myself.


97. What will you do for your crush?
Anything possible.

98. What would you feel that no one no longer cares for you?
Learn to care for myself. But will soon give up and feel like dying.

99. What if your stead two-timed you?
Lets see. It depends. Then we’ll have a threesome! Woohoo. K only some people know what that means.

100. What is the name of the person u have a crush on?
Eh wth!? Must i? I can’t admit. Haha. If she reads this. I’m beyond dead. And if my family reads this, I’m going to jump down from the tallest building.

Instructions:Remove 1 question from the above add in your own personal question, and bold it.Next, list 7 people whom you would you want them to do this, at the end of the post.Notify them in their tag box that he/she has been tagged.

DOWAN LEHHH!

something extra for the people who read my blog! tag and i'll know who reads my blog ok :D if the response is high, i'l update :D

why is the feeling still there?
can't we go back to how we were last time?
now, i even have difficulty talking to you.
i can't even have a proper conversation with you.
sigh.

i dreamt that i whispered close to your ear, telling you that i love you.
i dreamt that you asked me to try holding your hand.
i dreamt that we really held hands.
i dreamt that i walk you home every single day.
i dreamt that even though you were two-timing, you loved me still.
i dreamt that i slept with you in my arms.
i dreamt that you finally broke off with him.
i dreamt that i shielded a knife for you.
i dreamt that you cried for me.
i dreamt that i got a kiss everyday from you.
i dreamt that i finally got what i wanted, you.

Would you ever tell a girl you love her?
yeah, i would. and i will.
Have you ever stared at a girl and wished she was yours?
Yes.

yo! just came back from camp!

DAY 1/.
couldn't believe that it was camp already! like you're studying studying, then out of a sudden, there's a camp, youre involved in it, as a leader. alright, so fall in, then did many things, proceeded to the ava room. as they were all from different ccas, i couldn't communicate with them well, so i shut up. then emo-eddddd till night time. alright, didn't sleep! YAY. did art. LITTLE BIT! haha. 2 pictures drawn. played with cards, had mcdelievery! and MR JOHN TAN BOUGHT ME MY SUGAR CANE AND SOYA BEAN! THANK YOU! skip to day 2. OH I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT at about 345AM, lilin and i were almost the only ones up, with guankiat and ruiqi somehow going to fall sleep haha. we played a game, SNAP SNATCH! damn funny. can make you laugh till you cry. so we played that to keep ourselves awake, soon after, guankiat joined us. yay. then woke everyone up! ok day 2.
DAY 2
they falled in early in the morning. cadets were all looking v restless, some other people also. DUH?! it's early in the morning?! yup they did PT. i couldn't do, cos had to set up the telematches. LIKE WTH. haha. after telematches, had the cca sharing for npcc and ncc. SO FUNny FOR THE NCC ONE. nice job! thn cadets had to do their total defence test. then leaders went to slack! some went to sleep some went to play. you all! guess what i did! NO NOT SLEEP BUT PLAY! yay. then after the test, UH YA! CHEERING SESSION. it was SO FUN. mayb because i was the only one doing it. EMBARRASSED MYSELF AGAIN. stop reminding me. haha! and then area cleaning, when giving out their jobs IT WAS SO FUNNY! cos only 1 group had to clean the toilets! haha. after area cleaning, had captain' ball. the leaders lost eventually. haha. by that time, most of the leaders, their throats were dying on them. and some were on the verge on losing their voice. I CAN ASSURE YOU MY VOICE WAS STIL UP TO STANDARD! haha. except for the fact that i had shortness of air. then had camp debrief for the campers while the leaders helped with the bbq pits! yay! i help to build the fire with guankiat! and tszting. haha they all worked out v well. was called up to the debrief and had to talked to them for the camp comandant ee hong because he was losing his voice. then yup. after that, had bbq! yay. ate then played true or dare with mr john tan and harrison and guankiat as a spectator. AND MR JOHN TAN, I WILL ANSWER YOUR QUESTION. haha. so cleaned up and had a debrief for all the leaders. mr rani said we were a responsible bunch of leaders. WOW! then yup. ok went home. WA. THE BAG DMAN HEAVY! called my mum to fetch me because i couldn't walk anymore. haha! sorry! :D alright homed! yay

I WAS BORNED TO EMBARRASS MYSELF. AND TO MAKE PEOPLE LAUGH. haha. so i cannot be emo again! unless neccessary. even if sometimes i have to! i'm gona put on a smiley face. haha! because, ya whatever! haha. talk big only -.- alright guys. BYEBYE!

hello, my new name is HOPELESS ASSHOLE WITH NO GUTS.

LET THE PICTURES DO THE TALKING! don't laugh people!

Name: CHIOH PEI SHI
Sisters: 3
Brothers: 0
Shoe size: no idea.
Height: 166 ok!!
What are you wearing right now? sleeveless and shorts. GOT A PROBLEM?
Where do you live? 105 BURGUNDY CRESENT!
Favourite number? 1!
Favourite drinks? eh. dno.
Favourite months? every month!
Favourite breakfast? i think ROTI PRATA!

-have you ever-
Been on a plane? YA!!
Been in a hot tub? YA! er not exactly. the wen quan!
Swam in the ocean? yes! so fun!
Fallen asleep in school? DUH?!
Broken someone’s heart? YES. MANY, i'm proud of it :D kidding. (ps: et) HAHA! did you see this?)
Fell off your chair? YA! ruiqi! thanks :D
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call? have la!
Saved e-mails? HMM delete crap though.

-what is-
Your room is like? messy and er. neat in a way.
What’s right beside you? MARY! OMG.

-ever had-
Chicken pox? yeah!!
Sore throat? of courseee.
Stitches? ya lor :(
Broken nose? no. i cannot imagine.

-do you-
Believe in love at first sight? yeah yeah
Like picnics? i think so.

-who-
Who was the last person you danced with? my reflection.
Who last made you smile? everyone.
Who did you last yell at? didn't got yelled at instead.

-final questions-
What are you listening to right now? very quiet. can hear only the keypad sound.
What did you do today? wake up, talk, study, talk, eat, study, test, talk. ,..!
Hate someone in your family? not at all. why would i?
Good singer? definetely! hear me sing!! lalalalal!! ~~
Diamond or pearl? er. neither?
Are you the eldest? nope.
Indoors or ourdoors? both! yay.

-random-
Have a crush on someone? ya lor. how you know? :D
What books are you reading right now? textbooks counted?
Best feeling in the world? HAPPINESS? duh.
Future kids name? haven't thought of it. mary maybe. hah!
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? NO i sleep with stuffed pillows!!
What’s under your bed? dust. pencils, pens. worksheets, etc.
Favourite locations? everywhere fun and nice.
Danced a slow dance with someone you didn’t even like? ya la! charmer wad. what to do?
Who do you really hate? no one actually.
You lonely right now? YA LOR! I'M SO LONELY!


YAY DONE~

Who will you be with Saturday night?
my girlfriend. AS IF.
What woke you up this morning?
phone ringtone.
If you take a drug test, would you pass it?
DUH! siao uh.
Is tomorrow going to be a good night?
of course! i'm gonna be with my girlfriend! ...!
Did you kiss or hug anyone today?
no. ut i got hugged, counted?
Who was the last person you rode in a car with?
MY DAD!
How many myspace accounts do you have?
what's myspace?
What was your first thought this morning?
YOU LA!
Do or did you like school?
I LOVE IT!! YAY.
Would you take a bullet for anyone?
yeah, of course!
Where would you like to live?
A huge house with everything i want in Singapore!
Do long distance relationships work?
Doubt so.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
er, NO IDEA?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
in my house?
Who is your number one on myspace?
..!
Who do you wish you were with right?
YOU LA!
Who was the last person that left you a comment?
ME LOR?!
How often do you log in to myspace?
shut up.
Would you rather talk on the phone or chat in IM?
chat in IM.
How many car accidents have you been in?
1, the cr got smashed by a ball.
Do you listen to music everyday?
yes.
Do you still go trick or treating?
I WISHED I COULD.
What was the last thing you ate?
maggi mee.
Are you a fast typer?
not sure. slow i think.
How many speeding tickets do you have?
er. i sped at the racing course.
What are you doing tonight?
sleep.
If you had one whole day to yourself, what would you do?
i would.... see first.
Is anything bothering you?
OBVIOUSLY.
Do you miss someone?
terribly.
What do you want to do right now?
er. sleep i guess
Are you listening to music right now?
YEAH!
Are you in a good mood?
maybe.
What are you doing this weekend?
going out with my girlfriend. as if.
Are you talking to anyone while doing this?
some sort of.
When were you the saddest in your life? Where?
forgot.
Do you own more than one cell phone?
ya! without sim cards inside!!
Do you use Ebay to buy or sell?
not at all
What makes you mad?
stuff lor.
Have you ever had a song written about you?
yeah! i wrote it myself!
Have you ever sang in public?
yes!! i sound very nice you know :D want to hear?
What songs make you happy?
What do you like to listen to before you go to bed?
song lor?
Do you have a job?
is being a student counted?
What do you want to do next?
sleep.
How many close friends do you have?
none i guess. no la kidding.
What makes you happy?
everything
One wish?
to be accepted by everyone. no discrimination!
Have you ever loved someone and were too scared to tell them?
ya lor. i'm a coward.
Next concert?
band concert?
Name one song that explains your current life.
none. haha. i like cai hong! haha and when you say nothing at all! but you didn't ask that -.-

when you need immediate help/company, PEISHI!!! when you have company already and everything you need, byepeishi. i don't need you. spare type eh? thanks everyone. bye.