hello! i know i've been saying this for countless times. but I'M EXHAUSTED.

oh a few main things that i got to mention today.
-Dunearn's Cross Country on friday
-The Bike Trip with Fadilla
-SCHOOL.
-LIFE

1) Dunearn's Cross Country.
i must say, IT'S ONE OF THE MOST HECTIC PUBLIC DUTY EVER.. oh. i skipped basketball training for this day. it started off with Celine coming over to my school. She was trying to be funny by hiding at the door of the centre stage. I was so scared that she'll get caught la! Stupid girl. keep playing. so then, we took a cab. we shared it with a little boy who happened to be a SJAB member from BBSS. he forgot to bring his nametag. HAHHA. wonder if Dunearn's SJAB will rush like him or not. GUESS NOT RIGHT. then reached WCP. settled the admin stuff with the ambulance driver then went ahead to our stops for the day.
while walking to the stops, it starting to drizzle, then it started to rain -.- so i got really wet. then, the rain stopped, so the race continued. soon, trouble came. During the race, someone literally collapsed. had to call the main post to bring a stretcher over. and manfred and gerald and i carried the person back to the main post. IT WA DAMN FAR AWAY. and the worse thing was, while walking, it started to rain heavily. walao drenched for the second time. upon reaching the first-aid post, treated that person. then another trouble came. another casualty who cannot walk, took the stretcher again and carried the person back. OMG. it was more tiring than basketball training.the stretcher was so heavy and we had to sprint to the spot. AND IT WAS FREAKING RAINING.
i think the school think SJAB superhero man. we just had to save all the people that were injured. and this year, there was SO MANY casualties! then for the first time, the ambulance is filled! thank goodness. So, left WCP back to MI in ultra drenched clothes and shoes.
THANKS NAY FOR THE T-SHIRT!

I NEED TO EMPHASIZE ON THIS THE MOSTTTT. THAT IS...
GOOD JOB MY DEAR JUNIORS IN ST JOHN! YOU GUYS HAVE CERTAINLY DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB FOR THE CROSS COUNTRY. ALTHOUGH THERE WAS ONLY A SMALL NUMBER OF YOU. YOU GUYS DID WELL. I'M PROUD OF YOU :) ALTHOUGH THERE WERE SO MANY CASUALTIES, YOU GUYS COULD AT LEAST HANDLE THE SITUATION PROPERLY. BUT ONE THING TO NOTE. DON'T BE SO ANXIOUS TO SEE A CASUALTY! BECAUSE YOUR ANXIETY WILL AFFECT THE CASUALTY ALOT OKAY! CALM DOWNNNN! LOVE YOU ALL! SEE YOU SOON!

2) BICYCLE RIDE WITH FADILLA
this is damn hilarious. On saturday, fad wanted to cycle to my place. so i met her at her house there and i cycled while she sat at the back. HAHHA. ultimate failure. apparantly i looked like a retard trying to ride. i had todrag the bicycle for a bit before riding it smoothly. what's more embarrassing was crossing the road. the drivers looked at us as if we were animals in the zoo. HAHAH. then it was so funny and fad and i just couldn't stop laughing. HAHHA. it was just hilarious laaa.

3) SCHOOL
it has been really tiring. everything's cramped up together and i don't know what my main focus should be. Because EVERYTHING is important. and almost all the deadlines were the same. ahhhh. i'm so tired already. it feels like half the year is gone but actually, it's only been like what? 4 weeks?! OMG. there's debate, basketball, schoolwork, project etc..
oh i'm so scared for the debate tomorrow! I'M GOING TO STAMMER LIKE MAD. i'm just, so scared. okay, i don't know how to phrase it laaa. it's just, hmm. yeah.

Please, just let me do the debate well.

i'm uber worried for Common Test also. i'm so scared i won't be able to do well. ahhh.

4) LIFE
oh well, you won't want to know what's been going on. ups and downs obviously. many many major things happen but i don't think i'll type it here. HAHHA.

i'm so tired. i'm going to sleep now and wake up tomorrow for school again! TAKE CARE EVERYONE. sorry for not updatingggg. thanks for the loyalty and kepe coming here.

saranghae!

hello everybodyyyy.
it's been a week since i last posted right? yeah I'M SO TIRED. that's the only thing i can say. school has been crazy. homeworks followed by homeworks followed by tests followed by basketball followed by sjab followed by projects... NEVER ENDING.

ok i really got no time to do this
so bye.

hello everyone. i know i haven't been blogging for a long long long time. this is the first time i touched the laptop after i think 2 weeks? yes it's been THAT pathetic. has been either too busy to use it, or just too lazy. so, missed me everyone?

today was kind of like a hectic day. due to some stuff, slept at an unearthly hour. morning woke up at freaking 6am for POC at St John HQ. extremely proud of my dear group, Bravery. words can't express my joy for you all. :) Good Job guys. <3 then after debrief and all, went to sha's house. reached at 630pm? WAS IT? then went home at 915pm. yes and my headache is still there. so sad!

k i shall stop blogging. the main motive of using the computer is to charge my ipod. so yeah, GOODBYE.

yes i did this on the last minute of 2009. PURPOSELY! so if you don't like my purposely act (omg, what's purposely act?) HAHHA, er, well, you still have to like it in order to read the following. so, too bad!

HAHHA.



ps: it's 3:13am, and i haven't started typing what i intended to type -.-
ok and now it's 2 january and i haven't even completed what i wanted to say. loser-ish, i know :)


okay yeah. here it goes.
what in the world happened to resolutions this year? last year everyone was typing their resolutions and all in their blogs. haha (PSST: I only read about 5 blogs and that's about it) now it's all highlights of the year. amazing :) while, my highlights of the year is as follows:

1) the most hectic year ever (with endless meetings and endless camps and courses)
2) the most "got grounded" days
3) the most "got into serious trouble" days
4) broke my clean record and got into suspension (oh great)
5) the "still no guts" attitude
6) the most scoldings -.-

omg, just realised all were bad. k lets start over.

Enrolled into a new school this year. Millenia Institute. oh, before enrolling, went for Dunearn's orientation, must say, it was different. excited for Millenia Institute at first until shit happened. Late-coming became a rather big issue, detention led to suspension led to almost not taking the examinations. Passed the mid exams and tests in MI, went on to June. It was the most torturous and packed month. Went for OTC, the camp was ZOMG. er, what did i have in June again? Right, there was StJohn BBQ, StJohn activities. JuniorAlumni meetings. SL camp. Dinner&Dance. Sec 3 Day Camp. Sentosa Trip with Romans. yeah, took up 3 weeks in total of the month. so there was 1 week left to hardcore study for the exams. Proceeded with normal life.

Ok, i don't know what else to add. i'm feeling like crap.

Love the year,
Love the people i met,
Love the new friends i met,
Love whatever good happened in the year,
Try to love whatever bad and learn from it,
Look forward to what the new year will bring.

I'll see what challenges i'll meet in 2010, check damnthedumbdash in 2010 for more information.

i miss this cute little boy - mayghan. yeah, ever since christinewongxz came back from cambodia, i suddenly thought about the OCIP trip to Tanjong Pinang :(

i miss my roomies, i miss the people who went there, i miss the night reflections, i miss the food, i miss the pool games, i miss the bus rides to and fro the orphange and the hotel, i miss seeing the kids chasing after the bus, i miss the morning lessons with the kids, i miss listening to bahasa indonesia....

oh well.

finally, after i don't know how long, i saw what i want to see. HAHA.

kay, my poor blog, have been left like that for 10034242329213947218 seconds or more! haha, 45 min to Christmas. So, advanced Merry Christmas everyone :)

this holidays were special. As in, as you all should probably know.. i'm grounded. so i didn't have the time to go out to buy presents or whatsoever. i decided to start a project, The "To Send my Love through Christmas" project. thought it was innovative at first, but when i started it, IT WAS SO. i don't know how to describe it. maybe i started really late! when i completed all 50+ or more of them, i literally shouted "HOORAY!" i sent out the cards to people who gave me their addresses on 23 December. and seriously shockingly amazingly, some people texted me and said they received the card already! HOW AWESOME IS THAT! i thought i was already late because i heard that it takes 3 days to send a letter! yeah, so some people confirmed that they received the letter. OMG. i hope no letters bounce back to me :(
oh there're still some for people who didn't give me their addresses. about just 10 more?
ooh well.. lets just hope that none of the letters get sent back to my house.

it's 3am now. and wth, i take so long to post. distracted by some other things.

i miss many people.

byexz.

hello. i'm back from not touching the internet for ages. (while not really ages, jut 5 days.)
how's everyone? i'm so lost i don't know what to type. k bye.

i feel a bump on my forehead. i think i banged against something just now. it's painful la -.- oh, and it's 10:26pm here. what time is it there? HAHHAH. k going up now. goodbyexz.

hello everyone. hahaha
blogging from Jeju, Korea. it's almost freezing down here. :)
how's everyone? fine i guess. haha. thank goodness for this computer service provided. but there's only 1 computer -.-
going up real soon to sleep. got to wake at 5:20am tmr. taking a boat then i don't know go where and whatever. omg, did i mention that i have really annoying tour mates? hahah, gah -.- and no good looking people. maybe in Seoul.. got to think so much more here than in Singapore as there is really nothing much to do except follwing the tour guide. so don't mind if i go cranky or whatsoever.
okayxz, i really don't know what to type anymore. hahaha. so goodbye. will update through facebook or twitter if i can :)
see you! i miss you and you and you and you and you and you etc... <3

i hate the way you care too much.

trust me, it's not any single one of you. don't believe then ask me.

and i hate the way things are going now.

Hello. Am back.
The past 2 days had been crazy. Intensive basketball training. It's driving many of us crazy. Everyday we're going to have to train like that till 10 december. Oh manxz. Won't we collapse? I wonder.. My mind's in a whirl. There's like no purpose in life now. Nothing to do at home, no form of proper technology. Yes, i should start studying. I'm going to tell myself to study. Hahahaha. But the problem is, whether i'm going to listen to myself. So tied up with things and the worst part is, it doesn't have a smooth flow. It doesn't even go according to the clock. It all clashes at the same time at different venues. Hmm~ this is going to be hard.. Harder than i thought it would be. Gahhh.

I've been thinking, what if i hadn't been a coward? Would things change? Shicks, i should stop staring at ceilings. If not i'll have weird thoughts about everything. And i'll have flashbacks. If there was a memory erasing tool, that'll be cool. I can then erase bad memories and keep only the good ones. :)

Oh, did i mention that i met alot of people today. In the morning, had basketball. And met all the basketball people. Then went to westmall to eat, saw secondary school friends. After lunch, was waiting for little sister, then saw mavis frank and co. In the cinema, saw fadilla! And after the movie, saw my juniors :) then while going home, saw my primary school friend. Aiseh. :)

Now's like a real good weather to go to sleep :) i shall prepare myself for bed soon. Oh no i can't. It's still too early. Damnittt. Ok i shall pack my bag for tomorrow's training and meeting then head off to the sacks. :D

Alright, bye people. Take care and rest well :)


Should i tell you that time?
Should i say what was on my mind?
It's all too late, too late for anything to happen, you're taken and that's that. Oh whatever.

hello humans and aliens. i'm back on Earth.

i'm so zonked out. feel like i can't open my eyes since the morning. HAHHA. just came back from SLE camp. it was ~ shall not comment. OH, still have St. John tmr. WA, grrr. iron uniformmmm. clean bootssss and snip off hair. DAMN IT LA. another long day tmr. won't be surprised if i fall asleep though. k going off to iron. BYEXZ

i found pretty people in Singapore. Clarke Quay :)

since i've chose the path, i shall walk the path with no regrets. i shall not turn around and try to walk back, because if i do, i'll be lying to myself.

Good morning! Haha i'm in school now now now. And i saw a bruise on the joint of my index finger. No wonder in my dreams i was feeling uncomfortable -.- and now i remember how i got this bruise. I accidentally slam my whole hand onto the wall. That's why. Ouch.
Q is sitting beside meee. Telling me about her secondary school life. Hehe :) hope i don't get
any freaking abrasion at the wrong places again if not history of the officer course will repeat itself. And the worst part is rachel and lyndia will not be there to spray that stinging antidote on the abrasion. Sucks much. Ahhha. Did i mention that the bag for the camp is alot lighter than before! Maybe because i'm already used to heavy and bulky bags. It's really light as compared to last time. Yayness :)
Omg, i forgot to submit consent form. just called my dad. He must have been thinking what trouble i got into again, as usual. Oh well. The camp would be enjoyable and i'm still deciding on whether to hide my phone or surrender it.. Hmm, how? Haahahaha. Okayxz. Going to end off now.
Have fun in the real world and i'll be back on friday :) byexz. Oh and people who are having a's, know it's kind of late but all the best! :) especially index number 0260, Chioh Pei Rong. Hahaha. Don't stress uh queen! You're going to be lonely. Hahahahahaha. K relaxxx. Good luck :)
Byexz <3

am so hungry. feel like eating. oh bother, camp tmr. till friday. be gone for a while. so have fun in the real world :)

I was fiddling with the knife, wondering what I should do with it. Thoughts filled my mind, about the past, people's reactions, as well as the pain. What for make life more miserable, it will not make things a tiny weeny bit better. Just let it go and things will be okay, as always.

Yes, I live like that. Always saying that things are going to be okay. I won't normally say what's in my mind. I choose to bear with the consequences and just let it be. As time pass, everything will get better until the next one another problem occurs. Some say i'm going to flare up really soon at this rate of bottling up everything. Rest assure, it won't be anytime soon.

Hahahahha. Hehe :) I can write a book uh! So sophisticated.. Bet all of you must have been intrigued by what I typed :D right? K kidding,

Alright, some of you must know that I have been grounded for the week or more. Not sure if i'm even allowed to go for the sle camp. Sighh. Sometimes I feel that there's an extent to being worried. Yes you're worried but that doesn't really give you the authority of disallowing every single one of the activities that i have. Maybe you think that this way, things will be better. However, in fact, things would be worse. It's always ne bringing the problems to you but it's always not you that brings the problems to me. You didn't realize that by doing all that, people wip look at me in a different eye. Now it's not about what you want and expect from me. It's what and who I want to be. If I voice out, I'll be at fault and if I stay mum, I'll be at fault too. Oh well~

k another redundant post, but whatever. Don't care. Take care loves <3

who wants to buy me my cookies?

oh hello! I'm like in school right now. Attending the pre-camp for sle. Kind of sucks to be attending leadership camps and courses over and over again. From primary school to secondary school to even now at tertiary level. Oh well~ Mr Singh is currently speaking about leadership to us. zzz.

I think i was sleeping like a log yesterday. I reached home around 5+? Then i went to shower and just lied on the bed. slept all the way.. It was mad. Then at 1235, i woke up and saw thousands of messages! Hahaha. K no la, only about 10. Read all, replied a few, and went back to sleep. Woke up at 530 to turn off the alarm and read more messages. Mad, i slept for close to 12 hours. Woo, so amazing. And now i'm still tired. Gahhh.

K, mr singh is kind of knowledgable :) but it's still boringgg. Yawnsss.

Have been thinking alot lately, flashbacks of the past appear, and i realised, i'm like the dumbest person possible. Obviously, i'm not going to list my dumb facts out here (just in case some people think that i'm very smart. And they should continue to think that way.. :D) going to list it somewhere else. Ayeeee, i'm nothing but bored. Someone should entertain me now..

Have been leaving this space empty lately, probably because i haven't been using the computer as much as i did previously. Even now, using this phone to type the post. K, i'm typing nonsense now. The space i've been ranting to, is probably.. Hmm, my heart. Hahahahh. Sounds retarded.

Dorcas and Aaron told me to go see a doctor because of the way i've been eating. Hahahha. Omg. See a doctor? Mad. Oh, and my dad says, the family might be going to take a jab due to the rising of H1N1 in Korea, and we're going there. Manxz, hate it. Pain bodoh! Eeeeeeee, the thought of the needle -.- gahhhhh.

K i should stop typing, if not it'll be so long and boring. Ok this post was redundant. you just wasted your time reading, sorry! :)

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDD.....!!!!

S.H.E IS IN SINGAPOREEEEEEEEE. WALAO EHHHHHHHHHH! i should've known and then turn on the tv RIGHT AWAY to watch them. TOO BAD. it's too late :( AWW MAN. wth! i'm so sad! GAHHHHHHHHH. they're in SINGAPOREEEEEEE. shicks laaa..

oh well, nvm.

helloxz. finally i'm updating. yes and i can see the number of people coming dropping. HAHHA. i'm so exhausted by all the activities. seriously.. gahh. shall hang on, it's all going to end, very soon, hopefully. it's just energy-sucking! ahhhhhhhhhhh.

ooh, Bravery is my group for Advance Course. and they have been brilliant for the past 2 weeks. am very proud of them :) and also apologetic because i simply can't remember basic things such as theirpaper for discipline card and all. like wth i know, i'm like the worst officer ever. gahh. anything la. i'm sorry dear Bravery. but thank goodness for them if not i think i'll just collapse by now. they are so humourous and cheery! I LIKE! and at least they interact with each other except for some, hope they'll changee. HAHH. yes they will change. by the end of course. i believe they will. k anw, they have been the wall that kept me going on and going for the nco course. k THANK YOU DEAR GROUP. all the best for the rest of the course as well as the camp :)

and then, what more. i can't think anymore. brain block. HAHHA..

k anw, when i think of more things, i'll blog again. BYEBYE :)