DAMNTHEDUMBDASH

two words, TODAY SUCKS.

got shoot by people.
in the morning, somebody.
while, they had to settle some scores because of some matter. then i broke a promise. i wasn't there for her. OH WELL, if you think i wasn't there. just carry on thinking that way. because in actual fact is that, when i reached there, all of you walked off already. what do you want me to do? aiya. felt guilty about it. like when you're suppose to be there and you're not. i'm sorry. although it wouldn't mean much. i guess over-protection and care are just worthless thoughts in my head. the thought of wanting peace ends up worse than a war. oh well. hell. and now, i have no idea what to do. i'm already to blame and i admit that i'm in the wrong. but i just can't do anything about it. ok so, lalala

in between the day.
GOT TOLD OFF FOR BEING BIASED. don't know what's wrong also. while,EVERY TIME NOW, at least once a day, i'll be accused of being biased. WHAT CAN I SAY? i don'tknow what i did. but. OH WELL.

after school, mr rani.
so 5 girls names were being recorded in the class diary last thrusday. i'm included. then mr rani wanted to find us. so found. then he talked. AND ALL HIS FUCKING ATTENTION WAS DIVERTING TO ME. it's more like getting blamed for making all those noise.starting all those conversations that are not supposed to be started. for having a loud noise but used in the wrong way. WHAT THE!? and he said many teachers complained about me. as if i'm the one creating nuisance in class. so now, every teacher in dunearn thinks that peishi's a fucking loser who disrupts classes. and teachers from our class even the "angel" complained about me. OH WHAT THE HELL, I'M A BAD STUDENT. i ought to get a personal diary huh? get your facts right first please. and he said we are nonsense. YA WHATEVER ALRIGHT? somehow i feel that i deserve all these. all the blame should be on me. it's ok.

well, after that, i shed. DUH!? haha elaine, you didn't see again

so many big blows in one day. the day when you have to swallow down every of your guts? when you have to bow down to something that you do not have to? when you get told off because of a broken promise? when you still have a give a fake smile even though you don't have to? when you're being treated like a dog, taking orders from people without even saying a thing or letting people know how i feel?

anw thanks to 4TOPAZ girls. coleen for lending me psp to distress. sabrina for breaking my finger. AND THE PEOPLE WHO MADE ME REALISED MY MISTAKES.

for the first time in secondary school life, i hate MJT. only for that moment. but then, soon, it's ok already. just hope that his moodswings doesn't affect his way of teaching.
OK PEOPLE, THIS IS WRITTEN OUT OF ANGER. the tears of hatred and anger is gone. so this, shall be gone too.

to somebody: i can't do what you advised me to do. because i just can't. choices have consequences. and if i make that choice, one word, DEAD.

whoa, i realised, when i am angry or have alot of things in my mind. i post damn long!! woohoo.
actually, since the afternoon, all was well, until a message came. SIGH! don't know what's happening in my life now. why must all these things happen now? maybe there're obstacles that i have to pass in order to move on. just like how my canvas is like. SO I AM GOING TO OVERCOME ALL THESE. and carry on with my life. one more thing. ANT INVASION!!!
there're like so many mini ants crawling around. yup. gross.
ok byebye. PEOPLE WHO ARE DOWN BETTER CHEER UP! because by being upset, you're just wasting your life away. LIFE IS HORT, appreciate every moment you have in your life. try to move away all your sorrows away and let joy and happiness in. LIFE WILL BE MORE ENJOYABLE. right!? :D

just one more thing to add. for some people who have no idea, why i wouldn't tell them which negative mood i am in? BECAUSE IT'LL DAMPEN THE SPIRITS. GET THAT? lets say if i tell one that i'm very sad because of some matter. that person might not be able to do anything right? so might as well just carry on with the current tone and everything? instead of spoiling everything. ONE PERSON GET HURT BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE GET HURT TOGETHER. right? i'd rather suffer in silence than let anyone else suffer together. because sometimes, it's not their fault that i'm suffering.

I CAN SAY ALL OF THIS FOR I AM CHIOH PEI SHI! hehehe