People walk in front or even beside their parents, smiling and talking to them. And I only walk behind you, looking down and around. I wished you would cut my nails again, just like you used to. even if it hurts. I wished you would give the bite-off apple to me now even if i didn't ask. I wished you would not be like that. I will never be good enough. I have no idea what's Friday Nights? Tuesday Nights? or Monday Nights? You don't want to talk to me. Even if you do, you're just asking me some direct questions. Whatever. I don't care anymore.

i feel like a contradicting bum. i'm telling one person to not do this thing. but telling the other to do it. don't know la. whatever. grr..

meeting econs project people at wcp macs tmr! what a nice location. hungry can eat. thristy also can drink. bored can go play the playgrounds. the best is, STRESS CAN GO SHOUT UH! best right the place. i missed a whole week of school. wonder if i have alot to catch up. I THINK SO. mum has been away for a week already. wonder how's she doing over there. hopefully well i guess. i wished the days i were sick, she was here. maybe i would have gotten better earlier. 1 more week! quick okayxxzxzxzx. training on monday. how exciting. lessons resume. oh well.. back to where life is.

people just come and go in your life. no one really stays.

Good Morning People.

I have regain part of my strength. hehehe. just to post. no la.

So, how's everyone doing? fine i suppose. guess how am i doing? haha! i'm not going to tell you. what i'm going to tell you is.. my back is killing me. haha (random, ignore.) grr. i lost my sense of touch for this. so yeah. HMM.. and i'm still thinking even after staring at these few words for the past 7 minutes.

you kno what? i give up. HAHAH! i'll just continue when the feeling is back. SEE YOU :) ahhaha this is retarded.

byexxzxz

I close my eyes to bear the pain in my head.
I grip hard on everything i hold on to bear with the cold.
I put my feet close together to keep warmth.
I shuffle my legs to generate heat.
I keep my body parts all to myself so i do not touch anything cold.
I bear with all the chills on my hand and just watch all the hair stand.
I walk in smaller steps because i don't have the strength.
I shrug my shoulders to walk more comfortably.
I don't swing my arms widely to create lesser movement.
I bend down whenever i can just to bear with everything.
I blow air into my hands to keep them warm.
I almost collapsed while walking.
And I tuck myself together because the pain is unbearable.
For I am having a fever.

So, Mavis, want to cook for me again? hahah! (ps: ding dong! don't jealous ok! it's just a random comment (: )

Oh. and thanks to all those who cared. uncountable man. no it is countable. hahah! namely, OTC Groupmates OSCAR! thanks for caring and touching all over my head. HAHAHA! Lyndia Teow, who offered to send me home but i declined. Ko Tsz Ting, for accompanying all the way and trying to keep my hair down. HAHAH! Chin Yi Chuin, for just caring? haha! Nameless, for being so worried and asking me to drink loads of water or eat or take medicine or wondering what my parents said. Dorcas Tang, for coming up with all the crazy ideas possible. Elaine Tan, for doing your essay and still asking me to drink water. HAHAHA. and Family, who waited for me to come home.

Why the sudden fever? i don't know. hahah!

and THANKS TO YOU, the day has been kind of horrible.

bye :)

why do i feel that my throat is getting more hoarse and i feel like i'm going to fall sick anytime? why is everything going wrong today. fuck.

why do i feel that my throat is getting more hoarse and i feel like i'm going to fall sick anytime? why is everything going wrong today.

Thank goodness for Fitz, Lyndia, Nameless and Tszting. THANK YOU ALL! i would just die if none of you all ever appeared in my life. haha.
Fitz! THANK YOU! for seeing everything i typed. HAHHA! kind of horrible huh..
Lyndia Teow THANK YOU! because you helped me to do all the admin stuff. you know i'm not good at it :) HAHHA!
Nameless! for just being there. really. hahha!
Tszting! TELLING ME ALL THE LAST MINUTE EXAM STUFF!

ALRIGHT. still have many people to thank. but i'll just do it some other day. got to zoom off to study for the exam tmr!

mum's leaving for China! BON VOYAGE! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF :) i'll miss you! <3

wish me luck for the exam. got to wake damn early for it again. grr.

BEFORE.

AFTER

HAHAHHA! awesomeee.

HAHHAHA! so retarded. BF7!

"once a saint john, always a saint john."
i finally understand the real meaning of this. there is no way i can ever escape from it. maybe that's why for every activity, i'll be in first aid. damn. HHA. there's no way someone will ever forget about things they've been through. unless they get into a coma or such. makes sense? so yeah, once i become a cadet, and determined to put my fullest attention to it, my memories of being a cadet will never be erased. people expect something from you. and you have to give that something back to them. hard life huh? hmm.

2 movies in 2 days. impressive? yeah i know too. HAHA! friday watched my newest gf in the movie, emmawatson! and saturday, obsessed. hot people in the movie again. oh well..

friday. (17/7/2009)
school. lessons. headed to town and watch harry potter! hahaha. many funny things happened in the theatre! right SHA? ahhaha! saw my gf. and that's probably the only thing i'm there for. the movie was very. i don't know. AHHA. can't think of a word. so that's about it huh? yeah guess so too.

saturday. (18/7/2009)
woke up in the early mornings and headed down to faraway bishan just to do project for otc. ahha! so discussed and bought stuff. went to catch Obsessed at AMK Hub. and it was. INTERESTING. it's nice to watch and is worth watching. go catch it if you can! the theatre was nice to be in as everyone was INTO harry potter and the other movies are affected. so there were only a few of us in that Obsessed theatre. haha. it's nice. headed back to CCK. and made the present for Syaz and headed for downtown east at planet Pasir Ris for her party! reached there in the evenings and had fun there. left in the night and homed at a very late time.

Today!
woke up yet again very early to go for Officer Course. hmm. lectures lectures and more lectures. tips for the exam next week. and last parade and fall out! went for dinner with people and then home! it's now 1111, who's missing me? haha! ok random.. yup. then home. showered. helped my mini with her dumb DNT and Art again. and i'm going to fall asleep because i'm half dead? yeah!

i miss Dunearn. like so much. dumbass FooLilin & Co. didn't attend syaz's birthday party. WATCH OUT! hahaha! i miss the lessons we had and the class which every teacher hated to teach and dread to come into! i miss the toilet sessions when we try to put Lilin's or anyone's head into the toilet bowl! i miss walking around as a big group and playing around the corridors. i miss playing with the brooms in class and locking people out of class! HAHAH. oh and the blasting of music from the projector! how amazing. i miss the after school times when we would just sit around the class or the concourse or maybe the canteen. i miss recess times and say "Aunty, wo yao laksa jia san ge tau kee! (laksa with 3 pieces of that crispy thing) and it cost only freaking $1.50! LOL! and recess times when we always stack our bowls high up and seeing who takes the initiative to put back the bowls into the basin. i miss tucking out my shirt and being messy in school. i miss mr rani telling us that our student leader tie pin will be taken away. HAHA. i miss miss au trying to sweetly talk to the class and then try to send the class for detention or gves the yellow form when she cannot take it anymore. also, mr lai! his funny actions which are just so unforgettable! and yes, we made him pissed till he didn't come for 1 month because of us, he had a relapse? (is it?) i miss calling out to people wherever i walk or people calling out to me. i miss being in the student council because it's fun! i miss having to go for st john. be it as a cadet or as a senior. because it feels so comfortable being there. and it's just weird not having to be there! still getting used to not going there every week. and lastly. I JUST MISS THE WHOLE SCHOOL. hahaha! can't believe i'm saying this because honestly, i used to say... "Dunearn is a horrible school, made a wrong choice.."

LASTLY. I WISH TO GIVE MY HEARTFELT CONGRATS TO MY DEAREST JUNIORS! they got the 3rd placing for the first aid quiz! WOOOOOOOOOO! congratulations and celebrations!!! yeah!! you did us proud :) oh and the juniors are namely.. huiping, winnie, sophia, guanteck and yuehong! GOOD JOB GUYS! (oh ya. your treat. hahaha! ask me for it someday..)

i wished for a better place to live in.

i wished i got into an accident.
and when i wake up, i hope you're the one there.

wait. before i type. i shall try to recall what i did for the day. HAHA.

alright got it. 1111 :) who's missing me uh!
Morning went to school. (duh?) late by a few seconds. being stopped by masked people! HAHA. and had to scan cards. but it's not considered as late! woo! classes begun.. had 3 long breaks. and i finished reading my story book! HAHAHA! so proud of myself. then more classes. and went to westmall. called oldest up. and she ask me to go pick miniest to go to tuition then go macs to study. WALAO EH! anw did it still. and then after her tuition. went for dinner at the coffee shop. then homed. HAHA. funny things happened. and it was real funny. but i'mnot suppose to post it in case i get killed.

Tmr will be a fun day. short day in school and fun right after that! YOOHOOOOOO!

more books to read. and more lessons coming. just look forward ! :)

GO SLEEP EARLY.! byexzzxz

just the way you look tonight, make me speechless and wanting more.

heard that the student leaders in Dunearn had their investiture today. yeah. glad that most of the "Lee Kuan Yew"s succeeded in being a SL. one of them even made it to the top few posts. except for some.. but still, ROCK ON! during the investiture there wasn't audience!? because of H1N1. ahhaha! like wth? then i imagined how they would walk up the stage like i used to with no one looking at them. HOW CAREFREE. walao eh.! no pressure or anything. because no one's looking. if you wore you blazer upside down, your stockings tear, you had a bad hair day, also no one will know. shiok sia.. grr. if it was during my year then ultimate coolness! just went to MILink to vote for stuff. and saw that we're suppose to nominate people to become our SLs. hahaha! so cool uh!? i thought all is teachers choose man. just like how secondary school is like. looks like things have changed. still have to ask people to vote for you and all that. WA. attend campaigns. hmmm. how amazing.

Wednesday. went to school. attend dance, econs and chinese lessons. then went for badminton. then to a secret public place where i waited for my mum's green light to go to her office. and played UNO with sylvia, fadzly and shawn. after one game. i just laid down there and fell asleep! HAHA. when i woke up! IT WAS ALREADY 640pm.HAHA. so late already la! we all slept at that place! lying down on the floor. omg. should anyone walk past. HAHA. they must be thinking that we are lost kids with no home! chiong home immediately. everyone was half dead! just hilariouss. so home now! AND I'M FINISHING ANOTHER BOOK! so exciting. going to read another one.

HI RAHIMI! if you're reading this! HAHAHA! i know your crush! and i believe the whole Dunearn knows too. hehehe! don't paiseh! must express your love! HAHHAHA. fooooonyyyyy! oh and congrats on being a SL.

alright. i'm so tired now. and i'm going to bathe and sleep. BYEBYEBYEBYE.

once i'm done, i'll leave this place, not leaving any trace behind and be gone forever.

Second day of school.
enjoyable i must say. could see clearly today. HAHA. classes were SO-SO. gp was just so "lively"! because of the teacher! she's like some bubbly person who speaks so quickly and with much enthusiasm!
after school headed down to beloved westmall. HAHA. went to popular and got books. i bought a book! hehehe. so surprising!
and i got Sylvia to read a advertisement about S.H.E for me. because i don't know how to read. HAHA. they got a new book! and if preorder, there'll be a CD! i wantttttttttttt! :D who's kind enough to buy for me? hmm.don't think there's any though.
oh. and i'm broke. sylvia's broke. fadzly's broke and shawn's broke. we're all broke! and we're deciding to bring a lunchbox to school with bread and nutella as the filling! hahaha. yes guys, i heard what you all said even though i didn't respond to you all.
home and saw stuff and learnt many new things! and i saw beautiful people today, on the streets.

goodbye sexies! :)

now i'm stuck here all alone. just gazing at the plain ceiling. wondering what i should do next.

first day of school. went into the compound like any other day. it felt as though it was back to square 1. many changes due to H1N1. like seating plans and teachers. couldn't hardly see anything because my spectacles broke first thing in the morning. HAHA. so yup.

i'm feeling so proud of myself. because i finished reading a book in 2 hours ytd. and i'm reading another book today. almost reaching the half-mark! GO GO GO!

alright. i'm so bored. so i'm going up already. BYEBYE.

school tomorrow. doesn't feel like it.. am not feeling good at all. hahaha!

after dinner. a random note was made to head down to town. and off we went. reached at 8pm.walked around. and home! reached at about 10pm. watching tv. going to sleep soon..

alright. have fun in school tmr! see you guys :)

hello good afternoon.

i'm sitting at the dining hall, wondering what i could do in this house. hmm. there's nothing nice to do manxxz. AHHA! and i'm not suppose to be using this computer or the television. hmm. feels like it's exams again. except without the studying. anw. sisters are doing their work. it's such a bore. miniest asking me about chinese. which i obviously can't answer again.

miniest: know how to write zhong2tong2 (president)?
i: HUH?! i don't know :)

HAHA! loser man. i'm still hiding my mini sister's book under my arm. she's been trying to take her book back. but later laa. just praying that they don't ask anymore questions that i am unable to answer.. AHA.

miniest: how to write hu2die2 (butterfly) then?
i: i KNOW I KNOW. come come i help you. AHHAHA..

my. i feel like a loser. i only know how to write simple words. haha. forget it..
yesterday had been a fun day. had meeting in the morning at dear Dunearn. then headed over to IMM with belle and met up with qianmei and mavis to talk about life. had lunch then we headed over to ahmei's house to play ball. been long since i played. so started to play. then belle and mavis had to go. so qm and i continued to play. slowly. it started to drizzle. HAHA! and then here comes the rain! WOO. we played in the rain! and my shoes were SOAKING WET. so were my white shirt and berms. yes, we were so crazy that we played under the heavy rain like some depressed person. yes and i think we're both falling sick. HAHA! then went up to her home to clean up and play XBOX. damn fun! we were screaming and shouting as if the players in the game were our players HAHA. i'm going back one day to play! or who wants to buy me one? :D kidding. then went to grandma's house after that. watched tv, played with cousins and home!

this morning. up and did nothing but look around aimlessly. found a book. and i'm going to start and try to read. i will succeed :) grr. my miniest just threw paper balls at me. it means that i'm going to have to take revenge and go off from here. alright. have a good day people.

buaizxzxzxz!

(:

another amazing MJ. haha. Michael Jordan. he's amazing! all his basketball shots and dunks are just AWESOME. haha. this is random. i was just watching online about him. so yup. just so exciting and all. haha. go watch if you want to know..

oh and on another random note. i think cheerleaders are hot. HAHA. yes winnie, if you're looking at this, you're included. :)
anw. i'm like watching Enchanted on video. and it's like so funny! it's just like a fairytale come true. with all those evil witches and princeses. insanely retarded. HAHHAA. imagine what appears in dreams come to life.

training's cancelled on monday! yay-ness. been raining for the past few daysss.. and i think that i'm going to be sick. collapsing soon! haha. the only thing that can catch me is my bed! HAHAH!

alright. see you :)
another catch.
the proposal.
adventureland

more mi mart stuff. geez...

back from the tour in Singapore. HAHAH


went to South Bridge Road with groupmates. then toured there. went to my house (Chinatown) and walked around those beads shops. my gosh. the beads are driving me crazy. they make me dizzy and blind. HAHAH. yeah. toured there and bought those ropes and beads. then headed down to dhoby ghaut to see SPOTLIGHT. and all the things were above budget. so bought nothing. headed down to clementi to get paper. bought like alot. and stuff everything in my bag. DAMN HEAVY. i could just fall down. not damn heavy la. just, heavy. yeah. back home. and helped peixuan with her art again. HAHA. it's not nice. too bad. i didn't know what to draw okk. yeahhh..

still up now. at 3:43am. HAHA. watching stuff online. it's the Michael Jackson Memorial thing. walao. it's like everything that's said can just moved people to tears manxzxzx. his daughter, Paris Jackson closed the final tribute and had such a great great impact on everyone present or anyone watching. like seriously..! just awesome all those tributes and everything. amazing.. THERE'S LIKE SO MANY HUMAN BEINGS AT THAT PLACE. it's filled like some concert kind of thing. this whole thing was more of like a celebration of his life.

there will never be another Michael Jackson. and that's that.

see la fitz! haha! luckily you didn't stay up and watch the whole thing. if not your lit exam uhh. filled with tributes and everything. HAHHA. oh and it hasn't end yet.

yeah. it's done. at 4am. hahaha.

peeps are coming over tomorrow. going to be stuff making day. my gosh. so exciting -.-
alright. looking forward to later..

see youu...

Hello Aliens. I'm back from Riltz Carlton 1221. missed me? HAHA! bet you did.

Saturday (4/7/2009)
Morning woke up at 5:20am to go for work. like WHAT THE HECKK. then went to marina barrage for the job. sat there till 1pm. headed down to ikea for MI Mart meeting. settled quite a number of stuff. so more meetings for it next week. came home in the evening. was almost zonked out then. relatives were over at my place. cousins were at basketball court. wanted to head over to play. my dad didn't allow :( whatever. so stayed at home and started to make the scrap book. came out not bad. slept at around 1115. the moment i lied on the bed, i KO-ed! haha. yeahh.. i think i was that exhausted. manxzxz..

Sunday (5/7/2009)
Had to wake up early in the morning again for Officer Course. boring. lectures all the way till about 5:40pm. then went over to marina square for dinner with the oscars. while actually only some of us. HAHA. then met with my family. haha! headed over to riltz carlton hotel. everything there surprised me. like the room, the bathroom, the pool, the scenery. EVERYTHING. ahhaha! it's very very nice :D and the beds are very very comfortable. who want to go and sleep with me again? just to see how comfortable the bed is laaa. not any other way. -.- but if you want. HAHA. :D yeah. slept right after i hid under the blankets.

Today! (6/7/2009)
Woke up very late! at 1140am. HAHA. it was time to check out. but it was too late. so asked for extension to check out. went for a swim and then checked out! headed to a place to eat and walked around at isetan. so back home now. it's SLACKING TIME!! exams are over. i mean for me. for those who haven't. YOU CAN DO IT! GO GO GO!! it's a while more only! HAHAHA. just bear with it :)

alright. so these are reasons why i haven't been updating uhh.. HAHAA.

heading over to clarke quay tomorrow for the stock purchasing. hope it'll be okay! hm. that's about it.

i had a dream last night, and it's still fresh in my mind. all the people in my dream are unexpected. like seriously. there was like a combination of Dunearn people and MI people. so it's like all of them came together and we were doing something. ahh. anw, the story about the dream is just fascinating. grr. tell you sometime. if i want to. HAHA

pictures for the hotel stay up on facebook soon. HAHA.
and oh shit. training resumes on Monday. after 2 whole months without it.

byexzxzzzx

Hello, I'm back.

i want you, to forget about everything that has happened, now.

anw. today was good. accounting was a little bad. am now watching tv. this dumb show. everybody's like dying in the show la. keep dying and dying. HAHAH. then all the women scream like mad in the show. walao eh. non-stop. sighxxxzx. alright. it's going to be over in 20 minutes. shit. i feel kind of spoiler. because everyone's so serious watching the show. and i'm laughing. HHAHA. and the woman is going crazy. she's having mental disorder already. and the stupid husband. what the heck. ask him go die la. so annoying. and bastard-y. ARGHH. guys.

and. realised something new about people. it's gross. nevermind.

job tomorrow. then off to ikea for more work for mi mart.

Goodbye and Goodnight.

what i want to tell you
i'd let her say first
from now, you can only guess
you're crying because you're happy
what i want to give you
she gave it to you first
from now, i can only echo
loneliness and love has always been hard to divide
i wish you are my protecting colour
concentrating to play the part of being your friend
from the moment you two embraced
my heart splits into two
i deceived you that you're my protecting colour
willing to be the weakest of love
if true love doesn't die, it can escape too far away
waiting is my job


no one understands
so i choose to separate from this world
a little tired
an already broken faith
crazy pictures stopping in front of my eyes
that understanding is further and further
we meet to investigate the world
i proceed forward alone
to wander in the crowded past
reviewing the black and white empty summer page by page
sitting intently at the lively roadside
the beer didn't become sweet
but missing the foolish but serious wish
i wander at the edge of loneliness
remembering when we freely laughed at the bright blue skies
listening to the familiar music
only leave the chords
hoping time will return to the day we misunderstood each other
to have a chance to say sorry.

it's what in my heart. don't bother. just leave me alone.

Good Evening! HAHA.

spent the whole day at home today. i watched a drama. and it was about a "all-rejects" class. and the only source of inspiration for them is a pretty teacher. and what the heck. if our classes had teachers who are as hot as that one. won't life in school be more interesting? HAHA. omg, i'm sounding like a cheekopek. HAHA! but i'm not. won't it be nice to have such a wonderful teacher to teach in lessons. rather than those boring, flat-hair kind of teacher to come teach. okok, enough of sexy teachers.

my old sister came home from her exams just now. and she bought a cup of bubble tea and some donuts. and there was only 1 cup. so we all had to share. HAHA. i took the whole cup and drank it myself. my old sister wanted to drink but i didn't let her. so she chased me around the house and fought with me for it. IT WAS SO FUNNY! because she never succeeded. then, i took the opportunity of her not spotting me to hide in the closet. my old sister as well as my mini sister was searching around the house for me. HAHA. little that they know i'm in the closet. so i let out a yell form the closet and caught my sister's attention. she walked into the home and opened the closet. HAHHA! i scared her and i should have brought a video camera with me because it was so damn funny! HAHHAHA! should have seen the look on her face. PRICELESS. ahhhahahha! ok i'm being a meanie. :D but it's fun la! HAHAH.

oh, can anyone buy me more donuts? HAHHA!

kays, Accounting tomorrow. then going to have fun! WEE~ who wants to come? heehee.
alright. one full week of holidays next week. so date me out people. some days are taken already. so you missed your chance :D alright. study hard to those who are still having exams. you can still date me out after your exams! :D

byezxzxzx

Good Afternoon. i'm home! this is like one of the earliest times i reached home. since i don't know when. math paper was horrible. and i don't know what more to type. going to go. bye. HAHA

Good Early Morning People.

i strongly believe that tomorrow is going to be a somewhat bad day. because math sums are driving me nuts. and the asymptotes thing can just kill me. hyperbolas and all those intercepts. AHH. who in the world created graphs. arghh. shouldn't have created them so life wouldn't be so miserable. HAHAH. totally kidding. just going to bomb everything out tmr. and just write what i think is right. and pray that the question on the defination on infinity would come out so there would be a scene in the hall. (RIGHT?) AHAHHA!

anw. thanks to people who helped me with the math shit thing. made me realise how dumb i can be at math. hmm -.- namely. isabelle, fitz and no more. HAHA! just 2. anw. i'm so glad friday is coming. but after friday. doomday awaits. so whatever manxzxzxzz.

Goodbye and Good Luck.