DAMNTHEDUMBDASH

i had a BAD BAD BAD BAD dream. and the devil in my dream was, maryang, my basketball teacher/coach. i'm serious. what the. it was scary. and it seemed VERY REAL.

there was this time when i wrote a confession letter big enough for everyone to see. then i don't know how come, the letter ended up on a wall. facing the entire school, so everyone could see it. i was very shocked. but i couldn't leave at that moment to take it down because i was busy with training. i saw some people smirking at it after they saw the note. after training i ran, to take it down from the wall. then i started packing my bag, with the note on my hand (the paper was quite big). the conversation was something like that.

mary: so what is up with the note?
me: nothing much, didn't know how it got there.
mary: you know, now 7plus, i think the year 2s are still having classes.
me: nevermind already.
mary: are you sure? this might be your ony chance to explain yourself.
me: it's okay.
mary: ok then, can you give me the note on your hand? i want to have a look at it.

and thinking nothing was going to happen, i just gave it to her.

mary: alright, so i'll help you pass it to her then.
me: what in the world did you just say?
mary: since you're not going to do anything about it, i might as well let the entire student body know about it and help you tell your year 2 person everything.
me: what the f. give the note back now.
mary: happy packing your bag. goodbye.
then after which she walked away

i can clearly remember what i did in my dreams. i threw my bag down on the floor HARD! and i kicked the chair that was near to me. my seniors and mates looked at me in disbelief. inside, i was telling myself, i have to get that note back. after venting much anger, i stormed off to the staff room. i banged open the door and walked straight up to her and demanded for the letter. maryang picked it up with her 2 fingers and said..

mary: CHOICES HAVE CONSEQUENCES
me: whatever the consequences are, i don't care anymore.

and then, i walked away mary was saying something at the background like
mary: THE WHOLE SCHOOL IS GOING TO KNOW. beware.

went to the f classrooms there (those special classrooms) and saw the person (name on the note) in class. damn maryang wasn't lying. stood there like a geek and soon, night came. PIANG! i woke up. and i was woken up by a window which had fell out of place in my house. IT DROPPED OUT OF THE LEDGE AND WAS ABOUT TO DROP DOWN FRO THE SECOND LEVEL. hahaha! yeah then i woke up. IS THAT A NIGHTMARE OR WHAT? it is SO SCARY TILL I COULD REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE PART OF IT. SHIT MAN. haha! bet some people are guessing the year 2 person. HAHAH! -.-

it's been VERY long since i last talked to...
celine, christine, huldah, winnie, zijian, 4topaz girls, peeps from dunearn :( i miss singing the dunearn's school song and having exciting assembly periods sometimes. i still miss the food from dunearn. i miss the laksa, the nasi lemak, the chicken rice, hor fun. everything. AND ESPEICIALLY THE MILO. i miss the after school hours in dunearn. i forgot what i always do after school. SOMEONE PLEASE REMIND ME :(

it's very weird not being able to go to school. and i miss drinking lemon tea from the cafe in the school. i miss seeing wency's unbelievable reaction when i told her my secret! (HAHAHA!) i miss talking to the roman3 people. i miss attending lessons. i miss MOB lessons when the wency and yenping and ys and some other people quarrel with miss toh! HAHA! i miss having basketball training although it sucks sometimes. i miss having to do PE although it's like hell everytime. i miss talking to everyone really. i miss the times when we will wait for each other and we'll all walk to the interchange together. i miss the time! WHEN ONLY sylvia, wency fadzly and i were together at macdonalds talking about things from 7+ till 10 and didn't want to go home. we even suggested to meet at 5am the next day. ANY OF YOU REMEMBER THAT? haha.

i regret some of my actions! really, i do. but what's done is done, nothing can replace what i did right? so just let time do the job. i am so tired now. and i have so many emotions in me now and i need basketball to help me regain myself. i still need that someone/thing to listen to me. i need to be myself again. i really don't know what i am now. am i a monster or am i human? i really don't know.

SHIT I'M SOUNDING SO GROSS. ok hahaha! i should stop that right? ok see you guys soon! and i meant what i said just now okk